Day 21 - 3 week mark

Well today marks 3 weeks since my surgery and I am half way to going back to work. In one sense it's lovely being off especially doing some reading that I just don't normally find time for but on the other hand I am missing my crazy life and am wasting my life away at the moment.

So the doctor finally rung me back about 21:30 last night and she said did I want to go to A and E well obviously not as it's not an emergency lol I thought they were suppose to be advocating people not going there unless you are on death's door not me. Anyway she said I should take my elastics off until I am seen by my orthognathic team on Wednesday .... yay. No elastics has been utter bliss today so much so this is the first day I have gone with no painkillers not even good old calpol... although I was tempted when hungry to have some.

You can see what I mean in my picture about my top jaw moving down my gum shows however must admit obviously not as bad as before the operation. My swelling has gone down a lot from the outside perspective although I still feel incredibly swollen espicially on the inside of my mouth. My teeth hurt a little, I tried touching them today and can see why your not allowed to chew it really hurt so when I get the go ahead to eat it's going to be a slow interesting predicament.

'Six glasses a day'  

Yes, that's right, everyone knows it but who does it. Drink 2 litres of water a day? Well the doctors are hot on this post jaw surgery one so you absorb fibre correctly and also for flushing out toxins etc in the mouth. Well anyone who knows me, will know drinking it not my strongest point and some days I will go without one at all. Crazy I know. My mission I set myself today was and still is to drink 2 litres well thus far I have managed 1500mls not bad and I still have a couple of hours before bed so I will accomplish it. It makes it even harder when one has to use a straw and I still find this challenging just positioning it and sucking till fluid appears in my mouth... sorry that sounds so wrong but will leave it in because it's brought even a smile to my innocent and naive face.

Day 20 - Has it worked?

Well again a rubbish night sleep and then had no motivation to haul myself out of bed so it was lunch time before I got up dressed and had something to eat. I think the not feeling tired at night is because I am not tiring myself out during the day, I am use to doing a 13 hour shift at work with an hour drive there and back and then going to gym as well however now my day goes something like this:

09-12: Get up, shower and get dressed
12 - Lunch (soup)
Afternoon - Chores around house if have motivation, or jobs that need attending
Late afternoon - Try reading etc
Evening - Watch some TV
23:00 - Bed

As you can see totally unfulfilling and boring, but interestingly when you have nothing to do I seem to get a lot less done then when I live my normal busy lifestyle. Time just passes by.

One thing I noticed today, is my gum has started to show when I smile again, this is terrifying me because this is one of the main reasons I had this operation to stop this. I don't know why this is so, one theory is that the elastics have pulled my jaw down this was a risk which is why they don't put them straight on post surgery as the bone isn't healed maybe mine was healed enough 2 weeks after. I have ended up phoning the hospital and am currently awaiting a call back from the doctor just want to know whether I should take them off or not. Although if it has come down there would be no choice but to go back under the knife if I am not pleased. Ahhhhhhh. A lot to think about.

Anyway I will keep you updated with the plan.
     

Day 19 - How not to eat out

Today was the post party blues. I managed to drag my body to church even though again another very late night luckily the clocks went back an hour so

An extra hour sleep

This means a lot when I still toss and turn so much at night as uncomfortable  I find if I lie on one side the swelling goes there so it becomes painful forcing me to roll over and thus the same thing happening again on the other this goes on all night. When I wake up my bedroom normally looks like I have had some sort of wrestling show on it.

The elastics are doing my absolute nut in for several reasons:

1. I have no idea still where they are going
2. I keep pinging myself
3. I have managed to somehow break my brace minus a hook so elastic cant work

I guess the only consolation is they have funky names so I have both ram's and dolphin's within my mouth!
Anyway today is two of my best friend's birthday

'Happy birthday both Angela and Chrystal' 


We all went out to celebrate Angela's birthday to a wonderful Mexican  well I say wonderful only because I had my last meal there before surgery but this time I couldn't eat anything so just endured watching everyone else tucking in. I have decided that once I am eating normally that I am going to take my friends out for a meal... I will pay! They will sit there with their glass of water and a straw and all watch me eat, tucking into mouthwatering food he he.

Day 18 - Party!

Well today went off to a good start had an extremely late night last night 04:30 before getting into bed and therefore managed to sleep to a lovely 11am. This I did not mind as tonight I also went to my first proper outing in a social situation where people would not know me a good old fashioned party. However my body decided it didn't like me and strike me once again with a fever and a general feeling of crap to be honest.

I would not let this jaw surgery rule me and dosed up with everything I could possibly find in my medicine cupbaord (quite extensive now) and by 19:00 was feeling a bit perkier. You can see from my picture I even made an effort of getting dressed up, on the other hand venturing out without a scarf or muslin is still a bit of a gamble to whether I drool on someone or something, so into my handbag one went just in case.

I knew everyone at the party would be drinking so I also took my own supplies of straws, vasaline etc all the normal one has to carry post surgery, no such thing as light travelling now. Well I drank all night the real hard stuff...water! One friend even did say that the water is hard in our area so I should go careful he he. Was a laugh watching everyone else get drunk and throwing up whilst I remained one of the only sober people there and shows you don't need alcohol to have a good time, in fact I would go so far to say that sometimes you have a better time without it.

Anyway not much more to say about today might have to start doing this blog every other day as people will get bored of reading.

Day 17 - Why?

Well today is day 17 since my op and in one way I can't believe it is already day 17 and in another it seems like I have been in pain and uncomfortable forever. I apologise for today's picture I have felt as rough as I look these poxy elastics are just so unbelievably painful and I still have no idea if I am hooking them on the right teeth or not... it's impossible when you can only open your mouth just enough to get a finger width in. In the hospital they used tweezers to put elastics in place I contemplated this but the only ones I could find were my housemates and seeming as she is squeamish about anything to do this with this op and any bodily fluid I thought if she found out that they had been in my mouth with my drool she would flip so back to just pinging myself with them.

I gave lunch a miss today as it was just too much hassle to take the elastics off instead have since scoff x2 dinners down me and enjoying a well deserved break (yes another one) from the monsters. I am beginning to smell food on the same level as my mum's Labrador, my house mate was baking cakes and cookies and the smell was divine so much that I had to shut myself in my bedroom and try to concentrate on anything other then the aroma filling my nostrils. 

Although I have spent the entire day inside it has been highly unproductive, I have managed to do washing up, washing and general chores but apart from that have done no reading, or any other jobs that needed to be done. Oh well I guess I have plenty more days off to fulfill yet.

Before I go just want to put a public birthday out to my step-mum, hope she had a fabulous day.

'Happy Birthday Joy' 

Day 16 - Obeying doctors commands... NOT

I thought I would bless you with the first side profile today, this was taken before I had elastics put on so therefore they are hoping to bring my lower jaw forward a tad more. Also look at the size of that nose... I know I am becoming obsessed with it but when you have put yourself through this much agony to look better you do not want to be left with a humongous imposing blob on your face! 

Well today I did not follow the doctors orders... after having a difficult and painful night with these elastics I decided that I deserved a day off as I was helping a friend out as well and seeing as it is near impossible to talk with them in I was more then happy to leave them behind/ However I have now eaten dinner... cheers Angela for yummy leftover spaghetti bolognese, liquidised down a but more with gravy served on a bed of carrot and suede mash was delicious, had two portions not good for my expanding waistline but anything enjoyable at the moment is a bonus. 

So I have put the elastics back on and promise to wear them now, although have tried some of the thinner ones which my consultant did say I could if the thick ones are too painful and owwwww still no improvement. Hate how I can't talk, can't eat and drool loads with them in. But I keep telling myself the long-term benefits will out weigh the short term pain. And as a kind friend text me saying:

'No Pain, No Gain' 

Thank you to everyone who is reading this insane blog I am sure with hindsight I will laugh at my pain and my experience but for now will continue to dwell in my sorrow. Also note I do not mind people eating around me but when my house mate walks in with a delicious plate of chicken and veg, where just the smell is making me salivate I will not be accountable for any actions I may take. 

Day 15 - One step forward ten back

Well the word for today is

'Pain'

You can see from my picture that I have had elastics fitted, these are the most painful thing ever! They are pulling my jaw forward more in line as the bone is soft at present they can do this before it calcifies however this is not a pain free process. These new wires are annoying for many reason:

1. I can only open my mouth as wide as picture shows
2. Back to using a straw
3. Back to soup
4. Such a pain to put on and off
5. I have already flicked myself with one and made myself bleed
6. I can't talk with them in so back to mumbling

On the plus side had a lovely visitor this morning and also got some beautiful pressies, a heart, flowers and chocolates... however how people think I can eat chocolate is hilarious I swear people do it on purpose!

My consultant is very pleased with my progress and even told another patient about me who had hers done last week to give her hope. Although they told me I could now try progressing onto mash etc and I just laughed and said had being having mince, mash etc all week.... response being:

"medics/nurses make the worst patient's"

He also reassured me that I am extremely swollen so therefore do not worry about my 'Pinocchio' nose as this is not what I will look like... Thank God is all I can say. So back now on the codeine the only real relief being when I take these awful elastics off to eat and brush teeth. Now drooling so much more again like I was at the beginning, feel like I have come so far only to be pulled backwards again. Hopefully this is a short term pain and my jaw will used to being pulled in the wrong direction!

One thing that played on my mind is come next summer hopefully I will be eating normally, not swollen, no braces and a smile to kill. People who are thinking of embarking upon this great adventure be warned it is not a quick fix it is a long agonising process but one that I hopefully will have no regrets from.

Anyway I am going to go relax in a candle lit bubble bath and try and wish away the pain.

Day 14 - Embarrassment

So I finally fell asleep at 5am this morning, I thought I could do the no drug thing however it is obvious that this is not the case so therefore bring on the meds tonight. Unfrtunately even though I am still off work a lie-in was a no go today as mum had to work and therefore woke me up at half 7 to inform me that a builder man would arrive somewhen between 8am and 1pm. Well I decided to chance it as they always seem to come to me last so I went back to sleep only to be awoken by a knock on the door at 8:03!!! Rushed downstairs not thinking that I was wearing my really uncool pink pj's to open the door to a beautiful handsome young man... the convo went something like this:

Man: You have a window for me to fix?
Me: Yes, follow me upstairs...
Man: Smiling, what happened to you?
Me: Sorry had my jaws broken (trying not to dribble on him or over him he he)
Man: Oh, Ok window?
Me: Yes in here

Then I quickly run and got dressed! Why do I seem to live a comedy life? I wonder how I am still single??? Even I laugh at my own life sometimes.

Anyway the pain is much better now managing to survive on just paracetamol, it is more of a constant dull ache however the drooling is just unbelievable and still so very numb. My lips are still very swollen and as you can see by my picture that one side is more swollen then the other thus resulting in a crooked smile lopsided face and wonky gigantic nose.


So, I weighed myself today on my friends' scales and found out that I now weigh 8 stone 3! How on earth have I gained weight on a diet consisting mainly of soup and liquid? Maybe as my kind mother pointed out, it has something to do with 1. codeine and not drinking prune juice etc and 2. I have been having two suppers for last few nights he he more then a normal person. Well as most people know you can't take the food away from me I have pushed boundaries further then most people who have had jaw surgery, and therefore am expert at swallowing Shepherds pie, cauliflower cheese, fish pie to name just a few. 

Anyway the challenge I am going to set myself tomorrow is to learn to drink from a cup fed up of using all my energy to suck through a straw however this all might be in vain as tomorrow I am having elastics fitted to keep my jaw in the correct position so therefore might be a few steps back from my recovery :( 

Day 13 - Spider

Woke up to a bad start due to the state I was in yesterday didn't eat anything after lunch, not helped by never feeling hungry. Felt so faint that could hardly function, but thanks to my wonderful housemate and her fitness regimes managed to get some protein shake down my neck which gave me the boost to get up, have a shower and pack a bag to go out for day.

So again take two: trip to Ikea this time for my brother as he managed to lean on his wardrobe and break it! Decided this is a cool place for me to get out to for several reasons:

1. Lots of places to hide when feeling like everyone is staring
2. They have a microwave so I can heat my soup.
3. I just love Ikea and pretend I have special needs so enjoy the kids department even more.

However the downside mum and Olly (brother) decide that they will start with a full English breakfast there before we walk round so I had to sit, watch and endure them tucking into bacon, eggs, baked beans, hash brows and just imagine myself eating all those lovely things once this poxy brace is off. Mum also thought it would be funny to get me an Ikea food bib to wear, like I was not already drawing enough attention eating and dribbling most of it down me! Rest assured I refused to wear this hideous thing.

So after traipsing round the entirety of the shop...again... I stood and laughed whilst they struggled to fill the car with the purchases as I cannot lift due to the strain of my jaw so am making the most of this.

This afternoon I had the oddest sensation yet... I practically jumped and screamed as it felt like a spider was crawling in the inside of my nose and yes I made my mum look inside it and she was trying to convince me that there was indeed no spider but her laughter was not helping. It really felt like it was however found out (won't tell details how) that is was just one of those boogies trying to make it's way out. So I am guessing my feeling is coming back slowly however I do not want to experience this again it is so strange and irritating not alone making me look like a complete and utter blonker.

Have made a conscious effort to eat a lot more today and have managed not just lunch and dinner but an extra dinner on top as well :) feeling better already realising the importance of eating to recover. I did try and weigh myself today on my mum's scales however I don't believe anything they say as I did an average of 3 tries and the range was from 7 stone 10 - 8 stone 3 so who knows??? Will try and find a more accurate set and weigh myself but even taking the lowest one that's not bad considering however I am probably the person who has managed to eat the most after having this sort of surgery.... me and my food nothing will come between!!!

Day 12 - Emotional

Well today was an extremely emotional day, once again I managed to get up and go to church which was nice to see everyone and get some welcome comments about my new appearance and some not so welcome.... New nicknames on the horizon! Also very difficult to have conversations when people take the constant mick out of every other word you mumble out! (Thanks Julie and Paul) he he luckily I have a warped sense of humour and would probably do it back to anyone of my close friends as well.

Anyway onto the emotional side of things my mummy has left! My decision I am a very independent person and like things just so... some people say stubborn and OCD I just say determined and tidy! However I have to admit this is tough work she did so much whilst she was here... thank you mummy! Now the washing pile is already getting taller, the washing up needs doing and to top it all I have no energy to do anything or eat anything so I am stuck in a vicious catch 22 cycle.

I hope this doesn't continue like this for next 4 weeks until I have to return to work as one how on earth am I going to do my job and 2. I am going to turn into some sort of demented hermit as my brain is already not functioning at it's full capacity forgetting simple things. I have no short term memory at the moment I forget everything somebody says to me within minutes, it's a horrible position to be in my mind.

The pain is settling but my jaw aches all day and my lips constantly tingle wish this sensation would just do one for a few seconds of my day.

Cannot wait to eat and have had lots of offers to take me out when I can so looks like I will be gaining a few stone post all this!

Day 11 - Traffic

Well like I said last night it was am early start this morning and had half an hour to be up and out the door. Normally this would have been easy for me as I go at rates of knots most of the time however when it takes forever to eat and even longer to rinse, brush and mouthwash your teeth and mouth this proved a challenge.

Also one thing I have taken for granted is at my home, like any normal person, have a mirror in front of my sink which is invaluable when brushing my teeth as when you have no idea of where your mouth is let alone feel your teeth brushing without seeing is near impossible. My mum's home where I stayed last night however does not and I found myself drooling all over the bathroom floor in order just to be able to see my teeth in the mirror thus creating more work (well for her, having to mop, I just walked out) :)

So we drove all the way to Birmingham today 136 odd miles took about 3 hours to get there which isn't bad. However both my mum and brother's crazy driving skills left me needing Codeine and anything else I could get my hands upon, not a pleasant experience having to hold your jaw in the car, every bump feeling like it could dislodge your new face. I also have driven myself now this was good fun getting back behind the wheel people stare loads when at traffic lights! One thing I cannot do yet which is annoying me more then I thought it would is singing, I am by no means a good singer (my housemate tells me I sing opera style) however I love music and if I try to sing along even deafens my ears so therefore will be kind to the public around me and not even attempt too yet.

We got stuck in horrendous traffic coming back, luckily I slept a great deal of the journey due to doing a lot of walking and feeling utterly exhausted however my kind, loving, wonderful mother and brother stopped at service station and got a KFC and thought that by buying me a milkshake that would compensate for the beautiful aromas of chicken on the way home... NOT!

Got to spent an evening with a fabulous friend although talking is so much hard work, I used to be cursed with the gift of the gab or verbal diarrohoea as my mum calls it however I now appreciate silence and just doing nothing but sitting with my mouth hung open allowing rest and comfort. Sexy!

Day 10 - Weaning

Well today was a long arduous day, pain is starting to settle down now but I have been told through the grapevine that when you have your elastics put on it really hurts so I am making the most without them up until Wednesday when I am supposedly having them fitted.

This is me today doing my best effort to close my mouth, I now have a lot more movement in my jaw however have no idea when my lips are together or open so therefore most of the time walk round looking gormless.

My face is still slightly swollen on one side then the other and therefore I look crooked and my smile is a strange one lop sided sort too.

Pins and needles

This is the most annoying, frustrating sensation ever, constantly my lips tingle, not so much painful then inconvenience and frustrating. I think I have actually got more numb in the past few days, meaning I am missing my mouth a lot more however my energy is slowly returning now staying awake all through the days and sleeping most of the night. Also have managed to cut codeine out of the medications so hopefully this will stop my tummy hurting as it does seem to have that side effect.

Tonight for dinner: Delicious cottage pie!!!! Yes so be it with a lot of gravy mixed in to make it more like slop but it was heaven to my pallet, and this has opened up my world to all sorts I am still banned from chewing but finally am weaning onto something more sustainable then soup.

Tomorrow is a long day, up at 06:30 so toodle pip for now.

Day 9 - Blood, guts and more

Well last night was a fabulous night I slept to 10:30!!! Thank God for these wonderful sleeping pills, they are a true God-send.

Although the beauty of sleep was quickly crushed by the fact I was bleeding some sort of grotesque, red/brown gunk from my mouth. Where it was coming from I couldn't work out, and made even more difficult when you can't feel anything.

This is my mug shot for the day although I would say I look a little more swollen today not sure why and my nose still looks huge!!! Thanks to my housemate and mum who keep taking the mickey out of my me and my

Pinocchio 

I again have felt more energised today so decided to venture out the house with mum in tow, in order to go out I need a few essentials:

• Dark Sunglasses (in case the paparazzi are out)
• Bottle water & straw 
• Meds (this can be highely amusing to syringe yourself these in the car with a numb face resulting in a number of times me missing my mouth)
• Towel/muslin (stupid stupid dribbling)

This is a demonstration of what I leave the house looking like, not sure whether it is safer to look like this and not scare the children or risk being arrested for looking highly dodgy. 

So the lucky people of Ikea got to bear witness to the infinite Harriet Adams and be graced with my beauty and charm!!! So purchased a new wardrobe and chest of drawers for Mum of which she then manages to walk out leaving them behind (hilarious) sometimes I wonder her true hair colour?

I have started to notice the sheer number of commercials about food, or how much people talk about food. Also thanks goes to people (especially Sam) for offering me food that I obviously cannot eat, just making life more miserable but them having a giggle at my expense.

So goodnight for today people zzzzz

Day 8 - Macaroni

 Well this is today's mugshot I can now start seeing the difference,

• My swelling is reducing
• My bruising doesn't look quite so 'Shrek' like
• I am gaining different facial expressions
• Headache disappeared for today 
• Finally got a whole night's sleep....yes you heard right a whole night sleep.

So, on the subject of sleep I took a drug last night that is used as an anti-depressant but also good for nerve pain and sleep and it is AMAZING!!!

I slept pretty much 6 hours straight and woke up feeling so much better for it. If this is what I need to take to work then so be! 

Also today was my trip to the hospital for my first follow up appointment, this went fantastically. Consultants are happy with how my swelling has reduced and how well I look (well now I do) in comparison to another patient there who had their surgery a week before me and looks worse! I am to go back next week and have to have elastics fitted, but for now continue on a liquid diet, no chewing.

On the subject of diet I have had too much soup so therefore decided to broaden my horizons and try macaroni cheese. My mum, bless her heart, had to further chop/mash the pasta into small pieces so I could swallow them as remember no chewing (this is impossible anyway as I have no idea where my mouth is due to numbness). This was a grand success and for once felt satisfied after this meal.

I have discovered that the pain is worse in the evening time, my lips and mouth get extremely numb and terrible pins and needles sensation starts. Also I tend to swell up more during the evening time and thus causing more discomfort.

I can't wait to see the results as right now I have many nicknames, and luckily a sense of humour :)

Chubby Chops (even my surgeon calls me this!)
Bo-selecta
You look like your brother (good job now as I thought I was secretly adopted my whole life)

If anyone else wishes to add some more names feel free....

Right, sleeping pill starting to work zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Day 7 - Mastering the straw

I spent the night on the sofa last night as couldn't sleep... again! I now haven't slept through night since having had the op and the sleep deprivation is killing me. In some countries they use it as a punishment and I can see why.

I am starting to look more human now, my nose is still excessively swollen but you can start to see my cheeks. I am never going to get rid of my worried look.... this was a nightmare in school as teachers always thought I didn't understand the work when I did I just looked confused!

My lips are so sensitive they may look good and moist in this picture however I can assure you they are not. They are cracked and sore in the corners but due to the wonders of vasaline they are slowly healing.

Tip 1: USE VASALINE!!!!!

Also another annoying thing is my skin is so unbelievably dry no matter how much moisturiser I whack on it I think due to the swelling it is stretched and therefore drying out I literally can peel if off like snake skin.

I have mastered the straw! 

This has led me to have freedom in drinks and drink a hell lot quicker then before, have now enjoyed the luxery of hot chocolate yummy and can venture out the house with just a drink and straw instead of syringe feeding myself like an animal and people staring at me.

I also mustered up the energy to have some company from a wonderful friend and her children today, of which the 3 year old walked straight over to me and gave me a real hug but virtual kiss (how sweet and sensitive) the baby still has no idea who I am and where the old me went however he did not cry (this time) and I even managed to make him giggle with my constant slurping. We were also having a dribbling competition I feel I am still winning!

I have started to stop trying to pronounce words and use proper elocution and just moan as my mum can understand most of these groans and even when  I do talk people pretend they understand, reply with an answer which has no resemblance to what I just said, so thus just frustrating me further.

Tomorrow is my first post-op appointment with my consultant surgeon and orthodontist, will keep you updated.

Day 6 - Call the doctor

Well today I decided enough was enough, lack of sleep due to pain and a high temperature I just can't take anymore, so I decided a visit to the GP was in order! I think I actually look worse then yesterday, obviously overdone it, but most people who know me, know I am not one to sit still and do nothing I like to be busy constantly so these next few weeks are going to be a real challenge.

Anyway the long and short of it, the doctor gave me some antibiotics for temperature... she wasn't sure normal antibiotics for bone problems etc so I told her which I am sure is the wrong way round but we came to an agreement, Co-amoxiclav (good choice as got to have liquid form so yummy!).

I have found comfort in both hot and cold packs thanks to Chloe for making me one! Hard to keep it on might have to devise some sort of wrap for my head to keep it on and use my hands at same time.

This is just a wee (good Scottish lingo huh Heather?) sample of what my daily life entails:

Vasaline: Loads of it smothered on my lips as they are so dry and hurt so bad.

Wipes: Mop up anything I miss my mouth with (which at moment is majority of stuff).

Arnica Cream: To reduce the bruising.

Hot/cold packs: Help reduce swelling and bring seconds of comfort

Liquidised Food: Soup, soup and more soup

Syringes: To give myself any oral drink as still not mastered straw.

Pain killers: As much as can possibly get down me including anti-inflammatory ones

Antibiotics: To try and fight this temperature.

Weighed myself at doctors surgery today and lost approx 5lbs over just under a week this isn't bad at all considering I am eating only soup. So now weigh 8 stone 1 so hopefully can keep myself above this however I feel so flipping bloated (cheers Codeine).

Forgot to mention something really sweet, this morning my housemate and her 3 year old daughter prayed for me before they set off for the day.... the normal prayer for healing, feeling better etc however the little one prayed for Auntie Pat Pat (that's what she calls me) not to dribble on mummy!!!  Don't we just love children bringing out our insecurities!.

Day 5 - No more talking!

Well woke up in a better mood today so much so that decided I would venture out to church forgetting I look like a hideous monster... can't imagine the stories strangers must conjure up to why I look like this ?fight ?fallen ?Quasimodo etc.

Well singing in silence was interesting felt very out of place although everybody was especially kind now saying I look more like my brother (sorry, mate) and some people even said I

'Look Sweet' 

Well didn't last long in church came home before the sermon started as was worried my snoring would be a little rude in the middle of the talk.

As you can see I can now do a half-hearted smile but believe me this is using every one of my muscle to pull this wonderful pose. I also tried again drinking out a straw but when you have no idea where your mouth, lips, nose etc are this is extremely challenging and with all the suction power I could muster in this body and my mum encouraging me with words such as

it''s halfway there! 
Keep sucking! 

I could still only manage to get the liquid half way up the straw.

Note: My nose still looks huge, not keen on this new look but I am hoping, praying, willing it to be swelling and that it will reduce otherwise I shall be having words with my surgeon.

This afternoon/evening have felt so unbelievably poorly my temperature still rocking up high and my jaw hurting like hell so have decided that I am going to do no more talking for rest of day however this is proving very difficult when my mum and housemate are laughing (at my expense) calling me chubby chops and making me giggle as well.

2nd note: Laughing/giggling hurts so bad! I hereby banish any sort of humour in my life whether on TV, reading, people saying stuff etc. I need to live a life of solemn, doom and misery just until it no longer hurts to laugh.

So I live today's blog on a sad sad note.....

Day 4 - Quivering Lips

They said the worst pain I would feel would be in first couple of days at hospital then should be fine at home and should be able to use straw.

'They Lied!' 

The pain is horrendous, so much so that I cried today for the first time from it... so although be it a Saturday I managed to drag my sorry bottom over to the chemist opposite, not without a few stares from children, and asked if I could have some liquid codeine. Now this is a god-send apart from the known side effect of constipation but to be honest I could live with any side effect as long as this pain is reduced.

My lips have also started quivering, not sure if this is due to sensation returning or nerves reacting but is highly annoying. Probably also doesn't help that I still have a temperature so one minute freezing and next minute sweating hot. Quickly learnt that I am just going to listen to body and if wants to sleep will sleep as yawning is not a pleasant experience, however I have now discovered that when I nap I dream of eating one food in particular:

'Sausages' 

oh the pleasure of biting into some sausages, sorry this sounds so wrong... I am not sure why this is my craving as this is by no means my favourite food but for some reason the hallucinations of eating one are really getting on my nerves.

As you can see the bruising is really starting to show... which has entitled me the new nickname of Shrek. It is creeping down my neck as well giving a great shade of green. This should go darker which I am not sure is a good thing or not, might look like I have had a disaster with fake tan!

Anyway things can only get better.

Day 3 - Pain

Oh the Pain!!!

1. My arm still hurts however movement is coming back
2. The pain is horrible can't manage to take my co-codamol tablets as too big and get stuck so surviving on paracetamol and diclofenac which is just not cutting it.

3. My head is still pounding this is what is hurting the most, lack of fluids probably haven't helped but try feeding yourself with one of these.

Apparently I am now at the peak of my swelling so hopefully from here on in it will start to reduce as right now the pressure on my head and ears is horrible.

I have managed to brush my teeth as well - yes - feel much more human and my breath much more minty fresh then smokers. Have to use a baby's toothbrush as mouth still so swollen inside but nonetheless feels great. The antiseptic mouthwash I was given taste's disgusting and stings like anything and believe me when you have no feeling in your mouth it is hard to keep the liquid in for very long.

I am still managing youghurts, soups and now branched out to custard as well a pleasant change. No luck with a straw yet. Having to feed via a syringe you do feel a bit like an animal in a cage people wanting to visit me just to see what I look like!

Decided I would venture out the house today so went to DFS with my mum to buy a new sofa however this proved wayyyyy too much and had to abandon her and sit in car. However tip 1.  If want to avoid sales people nagging you just go looking like this.... they avoided me like the plague.

Still needing to sleep during the day as not sleeping at night, pain is worse then. Beginning to be able to move mouth a little more and looking like I have more facial expression rather then just a gawping grumpy old lady. Thought I could spend my days reading however this once taken for granted hobby actually makes my head hurt even more so has been scrapped for at least a few more days.

At this present time I am still questioning why on earth I have put myself through this and why on earth celebrities would put themselves through cosmetic surgery? However as the famous phrase goes:

'No pain, no gain' 

Day 2 - Swollen #2

Again started the day at 06:30 which would have been ok if I hadn't only just fell asleep in the early hours of the morning... this sleeping upright is highly uncomfortable. The nurses told my surgeon consultant that I refused my calorie shakes, making it sound like I was a child, when actually I asked any of them if they would like to try one as
 1. they taste disgusting!
 2. They give me a straw and I can't use one yet as still no way my mouth can close

My surgeons just laughed said I am great and I can go home post my x-rays today as I know what I am doing! The doctor then said she would remove my stitch in my head, to which I was unprepared for however was easy and not painful at all. Talking about pain, it is starting to be very uncomfortable, mainly the constant headache I have had since returning from theatre.

I am managing to eat a lot more then I thought, youghurts for breakfast (2 if I feel greedy) soup for lunch and yes soup for dinner. I did force down 1 ensure drink of which I have vowed to myself never to do again. I have also been told that I need to drink at least 2litres of water a day how I am going to achieve this using a syringe is yet to be worked out.

Point 1: My arm still hurts... told surgeon.... who replied with:

'I may have accidentally lent on it during surgery' 

That explains a lot. I also learnt that my surgery took approx 6 hours to complete wow that is pretty impressive those poor nurses who stood by my side all that time.

Had my x-rays, got my medicines to take home some of which are huge tablets, this could be interesting, syringes, kidney dishes and inco sheets for the numerous supply of drool.

HOME SWEET HOME

Day 1 - Swollen

Well the night didn't go quite to plan, ended up bleeding that wouldn't stem so had to call for the doctor who said he had been to see me twice before in night but I was alseep and looked too sweet to wake... really!
1. I don't recall sleeping at all
2. Sweet with a face like a puffed marshmellow?

Anyway he discussed packing it with me but I said I would just tilt my head back lol. Somehow I also ended up having a temperature in the night which made me feel even worse then I already did but thank life for IV paracetamol this is good stuff better then soluable diclofenac that taste's disgusting no matter how much us nurses say it's lovely and pink!

I was then greeted at 06:30 by the doctors round saying I looked very swollen but good and all had gone to plan and I was to stay in hospital for another night as still had temperature and blood pressure low (even though the numerous times I had told them this is normal for me) and to master the art of a straw! Well I can tell you this art is near impossible and syringe feeding is going to be the best way forward I think for a while.

The nurses quickly learnt I am a stubborn patient knowing exactly what I want! I refused morphine opting for codeine instead and refused my clexane injection and thus proving my point by getting out of bed and walking up and down the corridor stating my legs still work! However this was exhausting. Had some wonderful friends come and visit me, had a shower and washed all the blood and gunk out my hair.

Also discovered I had a screw in the middle of my head of which they used to measure how far to lift my jaw by. This is a horrible thought and the stitch has left me with some discomfort in the middle of my head. As you can see in the picture I still can't close my mouth, 1. due to swelling
                 2. Due to lack of feeling

This has led to some more horrible drooling and very sore lips as they have stretched and torn the area to create my new mouth. My nose is also still full of blood as I had all the tubes down there and had my stomach pumped so that I couldn't vomit anything post-operatively.

Sorry if I scare anyone. :)

Op Day!

So today is D-Day!  I live very close to the hospital which is a good job because I do not appreciate getting up at ungodly hour on a supposedly day off work. I put the good old Ametop (numbing cream) for those not medically minded on my hands ready, grabbed my bag and my weary eyed mother and virtually skipped out the door with excitement. Not forgetting a quick hug and good luck from my house mate :)



This is a funky impression of what my jaws look like now before surgery, this secretly reminded me of the multi-coloured sand bottles I use to make as a child on holidays. :)


This is me all ready in my gown and sexy DVT stockings (I swear they use to be white) now they are a hideous green colour clashing terribly with the blue gowns! Do they not understand you are trying to look your best in these :)

I saw numerous amount of people, my surgeons, the poor surgical nurse who was going to need DVT stockings as she had to stand for my entire op (no kidding they got her some) anaethestists, nurses and health care assistants. Did all my vitals of which once again discovered my low blood pressure and then informed me there had been a change of theatre list order meaning I was second. How dare they do that quick tooth extraction before me I could have had a lie in! Bur all in all I said goodbye to mum (why do mum's always get emotional?) and then headed on down by 09:30.

I remember having the cannula put in, by the way Ametop actually works! I can now give a first hand experience for work, the anaethestists laughing at the fact I had used the cream and then I think took approximately 5 seconds for me to go to sleep.

Next bit I remember was waking up in recovery to somebody saying:

'Harriet, you need to go for a wee' 

This was news to me, I thought after 23 years of knowing my own body I would know when I would need to wee or not! However she was right! Then wheeled up to my own room right by the nurses station (obviously I am the naughty one) and my mum coming to see me. Hooked up to IV fluids, IV paracetamol, IV antibiotics and steroids (that make you sick).

Pain: At this moment in time I don't remember having any I was numb from my eyes down to my chin however this caused one major problem... dribbling! Although my face didn't hurt the rest of my body felt like I had done an epic workout at the gym... the worst part was my right arm could hardly bend it. I was given other drugs codeine etc. I remember being told I have to sleep upright at a 45 degree angle however for someone who likes to be on their side flat this is very difficult and remember every 1/2 hour a lovely male student nurse telling me to sit up... in the end he gave up and just bent the end of my bed up and pushed it shorter so I couldn't keep sliding down :p

Why do this?

I know the dates are going to be a bit skewed on this because I have not been well enough to write until not so apologies for that.

So I am about to go into surgery tomorrow and a lot of people (friends and strangers) have asked me why on earth am I doing this? Well hopefully those who know me it is obvious.... I have a massive overbite and a gummy smile so always knew to correct this I would have to have orthognathic surgery.

I have endured a year of braces, missed out on some of my favourite foods such as celery, apples, marshmellows etc and cannot wait for the day I am all fixed and braces come off.

This is a photo of me pre-surgery (one of the better ones) with braces. As you could probably tell I hate photo's of myself so therefore pre-op there are not many.


Plan for today/tonight

• To eat, eat, eat, eat and yes more eating. 
• Pack my bag for hospital
• Prepare my hands with numbing cream (as the part I find scariest out of this grusome op is having the cannula put in my hand!)
• Set alarm for 6am as have to be at hospital for half 6!!!